If you have been a long time follower of my blog, you may have noticed a gradual change over the past year. I have been writing less and less about myself and my family. Sometime I feel like I have let the blog loose my personality. The past 8 months especially, I have rarely shared family moments, other than the weekly wordless Wednesday or random photo.
In part, it has to do with real life struggles and expectations. Those who are close to me, may know the reasons but I have yet to share anything here, on the blog.
When I first found out that I was going to become at grandmother at the age of 33, you could say I was less than thrilled. Finding out on Mother’s Day, in the middle of a thunderstorm power outage was the icing on the cake. My son has been a good student, a great kid and has never been in any real trouble… ever. Sometimes those things don’t matter, sometimes life bites you in the backside anyways and throws you a curve ball.
Being someone who knows what it’s like to have a baby when you are still just a kid yourself, I was devastated. I have always wanted more for my children. I want them to both be so much better than I am, or ever could be. I want the world for them. And while having a baby at the age of 17 isn’t the end of the world, it sure as heck is going to make it a whole lot harder for my son, his girlfriend and both of our families.
Sometimes the worry is more than I can handle
I haven’t written about any of this {besides that spontaneous baby shower event!} because quite frankly, I’m still trying to figure it all out. I’m still scared as hell and worried and just a little weirded out that any day, any moment now, I will be a grandmother.
I think what is the hardest part of the situation, for me, is trying to wrap my brain around the fact that my son will not be able to be around his child every day, every moment. Both Tom, my son, and his girlfriend Anna, will still be living at home, in separate houses. It is going to be very hard. Hard for us all. My heart hurts thinking about how he will realize these things the moment his eyes meet his daughter’s for the first time.
I know my son will be a good father, I still know it is too soon. I don’t know what the future holds any more than the next person. My view of it has shifted a bit but it still holds hope and the promise of my children making better lives for themselves than we were able to give them.
Who knows what will happen? Both Tom and Anna will turn 18 next summer. They both have plans to go to college and luckily, they have a huge support system via our family and her family. They are smart, talented and young, I just know that they have amazing futures ahead of them. Their child may be a few years earlier than we would have hoped, but she will be loved. I can only keep that thought strong in my heart that my boy and the one he loves will weather this storm, together and come out stronger in the end.
Our granddaughter will be making an appearance sometime within the next couple of weeks! I cannot wait to meet her and introduce her to all of you. Now that I have this off of my chest, maybe I will find the courage to write more about our journey into this new part of life!
Now, the important question is, should I be called Grandma or Nana or? :)
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{{{hugs}}} to you. I’m 30 and just had a baby myself so I can’t imagine being a grandma in a few year. Even though the circumstances aren’t ideal, I think it’s neat that you will be such a young grandmother. You’ll probably have the opportunity to meet your great-great grandchildren and be healthy enough to be involved in their lives. What a blessing! Can’t wait to meet your granddaughter. And I think you should be “Gigi.” That’s what my mom is. Very chic. ;)
Thanks Jenn, After getting over the initial shock and anger, I am definitely trying to stay positive and look on the bright side of things! Holding onto any anger will only hurt everyone. I do hope you are right and I get to be a grandma for a long time to come! Gigi is cute!
I think it is great you are all supporting them. I think when families say the harsh that’s when teens have trouble. They will be just fine difficult yes but all will be okay! As for grandma or nana we always like grandma:) can’t wait to meet her!!!
Thanks Nichol, I do hope that supporting them both will allow them to continue on with their dreams! i want to see them both get their college degrees. I know they can do it! We’ve always used Grandma or Gramma as well, i just feel so strange thinking of being called it myself!
Henrietta, you did such a wonderful job expressing your thoughts, cares, and concerns. Like you said there is no since staying angry. Enjoy all the moments you can with your child and your grandchild – you will never regret that. {{HUGS}}
Being a mom I see/feel both sides and have thanked my lucky stars that my kids so far (knock on wood until my knuckles are bare) won’t follow in my footsteps, just because like you said, I know how hard that road can be… But the news is here, and I think the blessings your new granddaughter will bring to your life (and of course it’s inevitable that there will be tons of those), your son’s life, and your family (and hers too), will soothe any open wounds instantly and completely.
What a heartfelt, wonderful post.
Henrietta! You know I definitely know how you feel. I’m sure there are quite a few women my age that are already grandparents (I’m 44!), but I wasn’t ready either. My daughter is 21 and at least she is an adult. But, like you said, I want so much more for her than I had for myself and her when I also had her at 21. It’s like I’m watching my life all over again!
It will be difficult for them and your families, like you said (time wise and financially) but also like you told me it will all work out. I got your back and I know you got mine. :-)
Can’t wait to see and hear more about that granddaughter!
Oh go for Grandma, Nana always reminded me of my MIL.. the kids have a strong support from the families.. it will work out, I was a grandmother at 36, it take some time and everything worked out.
I had my first just shy of 30 and my second a few days before my 33rd birthday, so I can probably understand what it’s like to be that age and hear you’re going to be grandma.
You aren’t the first with this unexpected news, though, and the way you write about it, it is clear that everyone is surrounding the young parents with lots of caring. Bravo to all. :)
It is really surprising how many people are grandparents at such a young age! I am just hoping we can all work together to help these young parents finish their education and make a great life for themselves and their daughter! Thank you for your words of encouragement
I can’t imagine the shock this is on you but I know that you’re gonna be a great Nana (you’re way too young to be grandma). He’s a lucky man to have such an understanding mom.
Thanks Cat! I think Nana does sound a bit younger :) We are trying so hard to make this all work out! It’ such a change!
Congrats!!!! I’m a grandma to 5 with another on the way. It’s the greatest blessing in the world. With such great family support on both sides, I’m sure your son and his girlfriend will still be able to follow their dreams and succeed in life. I’m still trying to figure out what I should be called. LOL I go by grandma and Mee Mee.
Thanks Kim!! I saw the photos of your newest grandbaby and he is precious! I am getting so nervous and excited about meeting our granddaughter! I really love the name Mee Mee for Grandma, that’s too cute!
It is what it is, and I’m glad they decide to step up the responsibility to raise this little girl. That is worth more than money or toys or the latest baby gadgets :) You’ll do fine too – that little one will have your family wrapped around her finger, and with that special auntie waiting for her at your house, she’ll definitely know she is loved. Can’t wait to see pictures “Nana” :)
You know my friend just became a Grandpa at 31 it was a huge shocker for sure. His ex-wife was ecstatic that his daughter was pregnant and we were both flabbergasted but once the baby got here you can’t help but love it to pieces. My kids call my mom Grandma now that they are old enough to talk but when they were younger they called her meemaw it was cute. ;)