At Jazzercise class my instructor, Ronda, often stops to tell a short anecdote, joke, thought or event in between the aerobic portion and strength training portion of class while we’re stretching. This morning she talked about something that happened during a yoga class she’s taking. Her yoga instructor likes to end each class with a phrase or thought for students to take with them. At her last class, the instructor said in a soft voice, as they were sitting in the last pose, “Think to yourself, I am a Goddess. I am a Goddess”. Ronda said she did try to think this phrase, try to believe it and say it, but what she kept hearing, and what her mind kept telling her, was instead, “I am a Warrior!”. Then she realized “Yes! I am a Warrior! I am a strong woman and I don’t WANT to be a Goddess!”. She shared how she thought that it really is amazing how your subconscious can know who you are, even when you don’t realize it yourself.
This got me thinking for the rest of the class, what am I? What is my mantra that I can keep close and tell myself when I need a lift or reminder of who I am? So I tried her yoga instructor’s phrase… “I am a Goddess?” Well that’s laughable! hahahaHooHooHooHeeheehee! I thought to myself. “Okay so I am NOT a Goddess! What am I then? A Warrior? No that doesn’t fit either. Hmmm…” I kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, “I am a… I am a…, I am a DORK!”
Well, not quite what I was going for but okay, yes, I AM a dork! What else? There has to be something else my inner being knows about me that I don’t know!
I was still thinking about it on the drive home.
I am a nerd…
I am a worrier…
I am a dancing queen… um No! lol
I am a mother…
Hmm, not quite what I was going for!
I thought about it in the shower while I washed away the sweaty workout. Still thinking when I sat down at the computer to figure it out.
I am a daydreamer…
I am a fixer…
I am a keeper of memories…
I am a human…
I am…. me.
That seems to be the best I can do at the moment. Is that sad? Normal? Do you know who you are? Everyday I wake up, everyday I try to figure out who I am, how I fit into this slot I’ve wedges myself into. Who am I? What am I? Everyday I subconsciously make myself someone and try it on, turn it around, and either decide to keep it as part of me or toss it and try something else on the next day. It’s subtle, and probably no one else sees it, but someday I’ll figure it out. Someday I’ll be able to answer with certainty and confidence that eluding question… “I am a _____.”
What are you?
While this might not be what Ronda had in mind, I can’t help thinking of it when I hear anyone say something about a warrior, plus it’s just a good song to share on a Monday :)
About the Author
Too funny, I’ve never seen the video.
As for the question…I am a lot of things. I do not know that I can wrap it up succinctly into one neat word, but that’s okay. I don’t mind in the least. :)
I found that a lot of people who have difficulty identifying their feelings have a hard time answering these types of questions.
Let’s see… I am a seeker. (Over the years, I’ve worked with a life coach and psychiatrist to help with feelings.) That’s the first thing that comes to mind. It came to me about the time I learned what my name means. My name (Pet cha la) means “the seeker.” Totally fits me and I can totally identify with it. :-)
Have fun answering the question for yourself.